Once again here to share my feelings with u.First of all u want to inform u that my surgery is on coming tuesday as some necessary tests were to be performed.

My dear brother Mahen's Blog and Love has brought me here to say sumthing to him and to all of u.

"MAHEN, i hav no words,when i read ur blog,it simply brought tears in my eyes,and i said sorry to my GOD for complaining not being with me at my this hard time.I said sorry to GOD for not giving love in my life.I don't know whether i ll be listen u again or not but i ll wish to be with u all the time my dear brother.God bless u.Aur kuch nahi keh paayegi tumhari khushi,bas itna ki ,sach mein tum dono ko dubara sunana chahti hoon surgery ke baad."

My frnds,i don't know wat will be my future aftr this surgery but it has given me so wonderfull frnds who hav proved to be angels for me.Mahen,Navi and namra had given me so much love and always care for me like a kid.They hav always showered their love on me.They r my real strength.Me,mahen navi's khushi gives a lot of thnks to all of u for ur best wishes.

Now i really want to listen my MAHEN,NAVI,NAMARA aftr my surgery.

I m going today for my sugery.On tuesday i ll be operated.So give me ur wishes and blessings!!!!!!

Surprised to see me here after a long break!!!!!

Hmmmmm!!!! Your this "Nalayak" frnd is too much busy,as she has joined the job again,so doesn't get the time to be online.

But today i m here just to tell u sumthing special!!!!

U know wattttt?????

This is the time to wish someone BECAUSE????????????

On Monday!!!!!!!

10th March!!!!!!!!

Its BIRTHDAY of Mahen's Khushi, Namra's darling, Aditya's naughty frnd,Little Dear Sister of Prudent India.......And ur dear frnd to whom u hav given ur loving wishes and blessings!!!!!!!

So guess who is this???????

Arey bhuddhu!!!!! Who can else it be??????

Oh!!!!! Its Me!!!!!!!!!

So Wat r u waiting for ??????/

Wish Me Yaar !!!!!

Need ur best wishes and love!!!!!

LOVE U ALL!!!!!!!

He was born in Amritsar,punjab.After passing BA he went to london for higher studies of law,where he came under the influence of great guru of freedom fighters Sh .Vir Sawarkar Ji. In those days Curzon Wayali a defamed and badly reputed britisher who had done cruelties and tortures on indian freedom fighters.Madan Lal Dhingra promised in himself to kill this anti -indian and he did it.

Now i m going to write the statement he gave in the court when he was sentenced to death.

" I admit the other day,i attempted to shed blood as an humble revenge for the inhuman hangings and deportations of patriotic Indin Youth.In the attempt i hav consulted none but my own conscience,I hav conspired with none but my duty,"

"I believe that a nation held downby foreign baynot is in a perpetual state of war.Since open battle is rendered impossible to disarmed races,I attacked by surprise,since guns were denied to meI I drew forth my pistoland fired."

"As an Hindu ,I feel that wrong to my countryis insult to GOD.Her cause is the cause of Shri Ram,her service is the service of Shri Krishna.Poor in wealth and intellect,a son like myself has nothing else to offerbut his own blood,and so i hav sacreficed tha same on her alter"

"The only lesson required in India at present is to learn how to die,and the only way to teach it is by dying ourseleves.Therefore ! die and I glory in my martydom."

"This war will continue,as long as the Hindu and English race last if this present unnatural relatin does not cease"

"My only prayer to God is-"May i be reborn of the same mother and may i redie in the same secred cause till the cause is successful, and she stanos free for the good of humanity and to the glory of Good---VANDE MATRAM"

Mrs Agnis Smandle A Britisher writes abt him-" He walked to the scaffoled with his head high and shook of hands of those who offered to support him,saying that he is not afraid of death.As he stood on the sacaffoled he was asked if he had a last word to say.He answered VANDE MATARAM"

Today when i look at the situations and positions of Hindus my heart starts weeping.We r once again in a very critical position.Hindus are being neglected and degraded everywhere,in Lanka,in malyesia,in bangladesh,in uganda etc so much so that in India itself too.India has been surrounded by jehadists and terrorists from islamic countries like pakistan,bangladesh with the help of our indian secularists and communists.For the hunger of votes congress and communists are not hanging Afzal Guru inspite of supreme courts confirmed decisions and order for hanging him till death for attack on parliament on dec 13th .The efforts of our great patriots,freedom fighter and martyrs are going waste.We need again Madan Lal Dhingras,Vir Sawarkars,Khudi Ram Boss,Ram Prasad Bismil etc to start a second fight for freedom.

Next night again the pain started.Everytime i used to cry due to pain ,mom dad never slept.They just sat near by me.Pain killers were given to me.On third night I told mom to go and sleep as she was not well due to high BP.But papa was with me.After sumtime i told papa also to sleep.

"No Beta i ll be here only with u."Papa said.

"Papa i m fine now.If i felt the pain again,i ll let u know."i forced my dad to go.

After sumtime i saw my parents sleeping,i was so happy to see this.They were sleeping like this after three nights.But suddenly the pain again started.But this time i didn't shout at all bcoz i never wanted to disturb mom dad.I was fighting with my pain,my tolerance power and my patience.Really that night was very hard for me.

But See Our Parents Listen Even Our Silent Tears!!!!!

I was not making any noices but the force i was putting to supress my painfull cries was not hidden frm my mom and dad.

Papa got up and said " pain again started ????"

Mom said "Shud i give u some water????"

Really frnds at that time i was so surprised and wat shud i say i hav no words.........I was thinking ...These r parents!!!!!!!!!!!!! really someone had well said parents r the beautifull picture of god!!!!

I was surprised that how cud they judged my pain,my silet tears.....

Even then i tried to convince them " No No Papa i m fine.Don't worry!!!!!"

"Then why u r crying???"Mom said.

"Oh my god,why do u love me so much.i never wanted to disturb ur sleep."

"Can we sleep,while our daughter is in pain????Na bachha it never happns...."dad said.

Mom gave me water and papa cld up the nurse to give me injection.But that night i came to know wat our parents are for us.....

My parents were always with me in all these nights.

On the forh day doctors came up.

"Hi brave girl,how r u????"Dr said.

"I m fine sir,my throat has started working!!!! "

"thats gud!!!wud u like to hav one round with us in the corridor??"

"Oh ,Ya sure,it means u r allowing me to move outside."

"Ya if u wud be able to do that!!!!"

Actually i was on the bed frm last four days,so doctor wanted me to walk few steps even i wanted the same.

So mom and junoir doctor was holding me and i put my foot for the first step.

"Feeling any heaviness or drowsiness???"Doctor asked

"No ,not at all.Just feeling weakness"i replied.

"Any pain while u r moving fwd???"

"No just slightly,it is normal,must be due to stiches and inside wounds.Its okey,i m feeling good."i said.

"Oh Thats we know,u r brave as well as intelligent also.See ur daughter has become doctor!!!!"and everyone started laughing.

It was the first day when i came out of my room.We just fwded few steps....Ward boys were brnging a girl who was of my age i think so.....She was lying on the strecher.

I made a pause to my walking.I looked at her.Her face was blank.The rods were fixed in her leg.

I dared to give a smile to her.I was confused that shud i dare this or not.But i wanted to see a smile on her face as i cud understand her pain.And at this time a patient needs the moral support,i knew it.

So I again gave a broad smile to her.Firstly she was surprised,she looked strangly at me.But then she gave the response in the same.

She was admitted in the room just opposite to my room.She,her mom and dad entered in the room.The door was closed.

But i was still standing outside with the help of my mom.

"Shud we go back to our room?"Mom said

"Mumma i want to go in that room,want to talk to that girl."

"How can we beta.We don't know them,we r strangers for them.They might feel bad that we r disturbing them. "Mom said.

"But mumma i think they need us,See they r also like us na,their daughter is in pain.When we came here we were all alone,at that time we also were in need of moral support,but no one came to us as they might hav thought that they r stranger to us how cud they come to us.So we hav got the chance we shud not loose it."

Mom was fully agreed to me so we moved back to that room opposite to ours.

Mom knocked at the door.

Her mom opened the door.

"My daughter wanted to meet u.So we came here,if u don't mimnd plz"

I fwded "Namaskar aunti, i m living in the room opposite to u,So i thought to say hello to u."

We again dared to enter the room without aunti's welcome.

"Hi,i m shabdika....Ur neighbourer patient....." I talked to her.

She was again surprised and said "hello" to me with expressionless face.

"Hey am i looking bad with this huge dressing on my head and ear????/" i asked her

"No not at all!!!" she replied.

"Oh i thought may b u r scared to see me in this appearance as i m looking bad in this.Thats why u r not smiling." i clicked here.

"Oh No Not at all."This time she smiled beautifully."

"Can i sit here,as now i m unable to stand,my exercise is over now."I said.

Mom was judging my face expression bcoz i was feeling very low at that time due to walking.

But i kept myself busy with her.She offered me a chair to sit.

"Wat happened to u????"Girl asked

"Oh me???Nothing serious ,just hav gone through multiple ear surgry."I smiled.

she had a great question mark on her face!!

"So u must hav met an accident.Isn't it???"I asked her.

"Ya.I was on the scooter,a car hit me an i m here now."

Her leg was crushed in the accident.She had alreay gone through one surgry and here she was for the plastic surgry of the leg.

She was very very sad at that time.Her mom dad was feeling very helpless.

"Hey ,u r a brave girl.See u r recovering so fast na.No doubt this is the tough time for u but dear remember one thing we r in our god's hand.He is with us.Look upon them who r lying here outside the hospital,never getting the treatment just due to momey.look at them who r lying alone,moving alone here and there with pipes in their mouth,stomech bcoz they hav no one to look after them but we hav our family with us ,our parents with us.And u see u ll be fine very soon." I said.

"Oh thanx.well i m stuti.Nice to meet u."She said

In the mean time the blooding started in my ear.She noticed it and shouted "hey i think ur ear is blooding."

"Oh its ok.Don't worry.Doctor has already told me that it ll continue for the days till the complete recovery.Anyways i shud leave now."

"Ya sure,u take rest.And plz do visit again."She invited me.

"Oh ya sure,U need not to request.I ll."

Mom was in hurry as she wanted me to get my dressing changed frm nurse.

Aunti came outsid with us and said "God bless u beta.U r a very nice girl.Thanx for cuming"

I said namaste to her and we came back.But i was sad on that day .I told the whole incident to my dad.Papa appreciated my this at to go her and asked me to visit her again.

In the evening time aunti came to my room.

"Hello beta ,how r u now???We all were worried to see ur blooding."

"I m fine aunti.It was nothing to worry.Plz hav seat.How is stuti now???"I asked

"She is fine now.Just feeling depressed to be on bed from such a long time."aunti said

"I can understand aunti.But she ll be fine very soon.U r the actual strength for her.So never let her know abt ur pain.If u want to cry,u can cry here in front of me,i m also like ur daughter but don't ever cry in front of her.And why shud u cry and for wat.U daughter ll be fine.Hav faith in God,bcoz when u cry u make god to realize that u r loosing faith in him.Leave everything on God Aunti...Vo Apney Bachhon Ko Kabhi Akela Nahi Chodta.

Aunti started crying and she hugged me.Mom Came to her and consoled her.

Now aunti was feeling relaxed.I sent some novels to stuti and a slip to her.

"Hey smart girl,having rest.Do sum exercise wit ur eyes and brain.Go through thee novels and puzzles.I ll come to u after dinner."

As our dinner time was 8:00 Pm in the hospital.So After dinner i went to her room.Aunti uncle were sitting near to her.She had already taken her dinner.So i also took a chair there.Mom and aunti were busy in their talks.Stuti was looking fresh and happy.

"So u lstarted the novels???All r romantic love stories...."I was giggling.

"Ya i hav started the first one. it ll be completed by tomorrow."her response was the same as was mine.

"Wat abt the puzzles???"i asked

"Ya i hav solved it but cudn't slove much u help me in that."She said.

"Why not dear.I m here for that only."She started laughing.

So i spent more than one hour in her room and then i came back.But at that she was feeling very fresh and i noticed she was looking very beautifull with the charming face now.

To Be cntd...

This page was written on 03-01-96,....11 yrs back.......Wanted to share it with u...

Hey Mere Ishawar,Apni Is Beti Par Itni Kripa Rakhna Ki,

Bade Se Bada Tufan Aye Tab Bhi Tumhara Payar Hamesha Saath Rahe.!!

Jab Tumhari Yeh Bachhi Jivan Ki Rah Se Bhatak Jaye To Tum ,

Pita Ke Roop Mein Aa Kar Mera Haath Tham Lena!!

Jab Tumahari Yeh Bachhi Duniya Mein Akeli Pad Jaaye To Tum,

Ma Ban Kar Apney Mamatv Se Us Akelepan Ko Door Karna!!

Jab Tumhari Bachhi Sankat Se Vichlit Ho Jaye To Tum,

Bhai Ke Roop Mein Aa Kar Mere Sir Par Apna Haath Rakhna!!

Jab Tumhari Yeh Bachhi Dil Ki Baat Kisi Ko Keh Na Paye,

To Tum Sakhi Ban Kar Meri Baat Sunana!!

Jab Tumhari Yeh Bachhi Zindgi Ki Sachaion Se Darr Jaye To Tum ,

Guru Ke Roop Mein Aa Kar Mujhe Sahi Rah Dikhana!!

Jab Tumhari Yeh Bachhi Ahankar Ka Haath Tham Le To Tum

Nindak Ke Roop Mein Aa Kar Mujhe Ahankar Se Door Karna!!

Jab Mera Mann Dukhi Aur Ashant Ho,Nirasha Ka Ghor Andhara Ho ,

Jab Sachai Par Chalte Akeli Pad Jaoon,Jab Virodhi Bhari Pad Jayein,

To Tum Mera Haath Tham Kar,Mera Marg Prashast Karna,Swayam Mera Netritav Karna

Tab Tum Hi Mere Sabal Banana Parbhu,Tum Hi mere Sabal Banana Prabhu.......

I asked my god to make me this promise when i was in my teen age.And believe me my God Kept This Promise.He Was always With me and is always with me."I LOVE U BABA JI"

TUJHSE NARAAZ NAHI ZINDGI HAIRAN HOON MEIN
HAIRAN HOON MEIN.......

TERE MASOOM SAWALON SE PARESHAAN HOON MEIN

PARESHAN HOON MEIN.........

JEENE KE LIYE SOCHA HI NAHI

DARD BHI SAMBHALNE HONGEIN

MUSKURAYE TO ,MUSKURANE KE KARZ BHI CHUKANE HONGE

MUSKURAYE TO AISA LAGA HOTHON PE JAISE DARD RAKHA HO....

TUJHSE NARAZ NAHI ZINDGI..........

Yes life is just like this.I remember till my college life,i used to be very jolly natured girl and really never knew this that life is so hard.Always was a dreamy girl that after completing my college,a person will come into my life,and we will fall in love.He will love me more than anthing in this world.And i ll spent my whole life giving him my true love.

But nothing like this happened as it is not the life just stories.Now life seems to be so hard and rude.When i remember those days when i used to laugh like mads and used to irritate others by my foolish things and used to keep on talking and talkng,i never knew that some time will come when i ll forget to smile even.The girl who was so lively and was busy in keeping others laugh will be dependent on others to make her laugh.Now life has become so dull that single day seems to be so long.

Everything i had with me i m loosing it one by one.Anyways this is lfe,we hav to move like this........

Next morning i felt a loving hand on my head.It was my mom saying good mrning to me.I also wanted to reply back but i cudn't due to my throat prblm.Now my first wish was to see the mirror.Mom brought it and i looked at my face.my face was smiling at me and asking me "Hey am i beautifull now???/or again in the mood of complaining me????" Tears fell down from my eyes and i said thanx to my baba ji.

I was unable to walk due to weakness and the pain.So mom used to help me in sponging,and using washroom.It was very hard to take help of my mom in all that works.Mom used to take care of everything while giving me bath,dressing me,combing me.The glucose needle was still inside my vein so mom always used to take care of that.It was my second night after the surgery.We went for the sleep after having my medicine.In the midnight all of sudden pain started in my ear,head and temporal.I was just feeling like dying of it.Mom dad were sleeping.i wanted to call papa but was not able to speak.I wanted to shout but cudn't.I was feeling so helpless.Then i hit my hand against my bed's back but it didn't make such noice that cud reach to mom dad.I was wearing some rings in my other hand,i hit my that fingers against the bed side strongly.This time sound reached to mom dad.Dad woke up and rushed to me.I was crying and crying due to pain.Dad called up to doctor.After sumtime some painkiller injections were given to me but i was still in pain.Mom dad sat near by me.

"Just close ur eyes beta and try to sleep.U r my brave daughter" papa said

I closed my eyes and felt my dad's hand on my forhead.

Few words started huming in my ear these were "Aum Bhur Bhuva Svaha,Tats Vitur Vare Niyam,Bhargo De Vasya Di Mahi,Dhiyo Ye Ne Pracho Dayat."

My dad recited it for the whole night.And i don't know when did i go for sleep.In the morning when i woke up papa was sleeping,mom told me that he had not slept for the whole night so just slept now.It was so touching for me that papa didn't sleep for the whole night just for my sake.

To Be Continued....

(Sorry Dear frnds cudn't write much as i hav to go sumwhere urgently,ll write very soon just want to complete it very soon.)

I remember on that day my dad was not feeling well but he was still with me.After some time nurse came and told me "Get ready,we r taking u to OT ".

"Papa i want to talk to mom"i said

Papa dialled my mom's mobile.

"Hello Mumma!!!! i m going inside.Don't worry abt anything.And don't forget to bring my fevorite Kheer of Verka.I m coming back very soon."

Mom was laughing,but i was listening her silent tears.

"Ya sure.God bless u bache.God is with u.I m doing path here till u don't come back."

The junior doctor and nurse had come.I looked at my dad.

"OK papa!!! U go and hav some medicine plz and after that hav sleep for some time."

Papa smiled "Ok .All the best.Be brave."

I cud see the lines of tension on my dad's face.I again touched my dad's feet and moved towards Junior Doctor.

He asked nurse to hold me so that i shud not fall.

"No doctor its ok.No need to hold me.I can walk properly."

"Actually injection had given to u which cause some drowsiness to reduce ur tension."

"Oh its ok.I m still in my senses."I smiled.

We entered in OT again.The full team was again there for my Welcome.

Now i was lying on the operation bed.

My eyes were searching HOD Mr.Gupta.

ECG and BP instrument were now working on my body.Syringes were inserted in my veins.But my eyes were searching for Dr Gupta only.He was giving some instruction to the junior doctors.He looked once,that i was looking at him.But he was busy in giving instructions.First injection was given to me.I again looked at Dr. Gupta.I don't know how did he realize that i wanted to say sumthing him.He just left that group of of Doctors and came to me.

I just asked him with my wet eyes"Sir,i ll b fine na??My face???"

He just put his hand on my head and said with smiling face " Yes ,every thing will be fine.Relax"

I still remember that fartherly hand on my head.

Another doctor said "ok now i m giving u the second injection,with this u ll feel some sensation in ur body but not to worry.ok???

"Ok." with second injection my eyes were closing slowly.A tear rolled down from my eyes.And i just remebered my baba ji.

Suddenly i heard my name.

"R u all right???" heard these words.

Someone was holding my hand and was asking me "r u all right???Hold my hand tightly."

I did the same just like an obedient child.Still the eyes were closed but just judged that surgry was done.

I don't know how did it happen and why????But my first word in OT with closed eyes was "PAPA".

"PAPA" i again said and tears again rolled down from my eyes.But i didn't realized it that i was crying at that time.

Actually doctor said "Arey,why r u crying ,we r calling ur dad.Don't worry,he ll b there with u within few seconds."

After that i was again in the deep sleep.

This time when i opened my eyes,my mom dad were sitting beside me.Oxygen cap was covering my lips.I touched my mom's hand.

Mom Dad both came near to me.

"Hanji,every thing is well beta.Doctor is saying the operation was 100% successfull.All infected area has been removed."papa said

Mom kissed me." now u sleep beta.

Again my eyes were closed,may be i was not in complete senses.

After few hrs i got up.My bhaiya,mom dad were there.

Oxygen cap was removed.I touched my face first.I was trying to judge its shape,my lips,my cheeks,i touched my face every where.

Mom Dad bhaiya were looking all this.Mom came to me and said with "U still hav that beautifull face bachu"

Now we were smiling with wet eyes.

I tried to call my dad.But i was not able to speak.

That moment i was just trembling by thinking why i m not able to speak.

I was trying to speak but words were not coming out.

Papa was asking me" feeling better beta??"

I was trying hard but words were not coming out.

I put my all force and shouted "PAPA"

Dad judged it very quickly that i was not able to speak.

"Some problem is there while speaking???"

I shooked my head in yes.

Dad called doctor.He came and said "Not to worry at all.Actually we hav inserted the tubes in her throat.Due to that she will face this problem for two days atleast.She ll be fine."

"oh!!! i was feeling so relaxed by knowing this."

I thanked my Baba Ji!!!Baba Ji were with me all the time.

Dad told me the surgery took three hrs.Mom dad were alone there waiting for me.

But now we three were feeling relaxed.

Some papers and pen was given to me so that i can tell mom dad wat i want??

To Be Continued....